Do you tend to jump to conclusions about someone? Perhaps about their behavior? Their clothes? Their speech? This is a form of judging others. When we choose to talk about someone instead of to them we are judging them. How do we truly know what they are doing; why they are behaving in such a manner, or why they aren’t wearing something else? Judgement can also be a way of feeding our own ego. When we state “He shouldn’t be acting like that” or “She shouldn’t be wearing that”, we are comparing ourselves to them to make ourselves feel better…feeding our ego. Instead, we can appreciate their choices as something they are doing on their own path. We are on our path, they are on theirs. We can appreciate a different point of view or a different way of dressing or even a different pattern of speech. We can appreciate another is choosing to express themselves in such a way we wouldn’t, but it doesn’t make their way worse or even better than our way.
When we appreciate instead of judge, we bring more Love & Peace to the World. ~ Heather Lang
By appreciating everything about another person we are able to bring more love into the world. It also creates more peace. Appreciation for both what we like and dislike can allow us to better understand someone, and when someone feels understood, they are less defensive and less likely to react in a poor manner.
Yesterday I was watching a recording of “The Ellen Show” (one of my favorites!), and she was interviewing Lady Gaga. I’m not a huge fan of the way she dresses, however I do like her voice. If I were to say “She shouldn’t dress like that!”, I’d be judging her. I simply care to dress another way. What was very interesting about the interview was Lady Gaga discussed that she has always chosen to express herself through her unique style of dress. It has never been something she does solely to sell records. She mentioned she thought other people have thought she did it just for that reason, when she has been doing it long before she became famous. I can appreciate her honesty, as well as her choices to express herself how she wishes to do so.
Have you recognized when another chooses to judge another? What do you do? Do you choose to go along with it? Or do you speak up? Therefore, hearing someone say something negative about another’s apparel or hair we can state “Well, if they choose to express themselves that way, it is their choice.” Speaking up in a non-confrontational way helps promote a more peaceful & loving acceptance, and thus appreciation for another’s style. It doesn’t mean you want to be like that person, only you accept them for who they are regardless of style. We can like someone and not like the way they dress. We can like someone and not care for an opinion they have which we do not share. This is spreading love & peace. We can also then be grateful through our acceptance & appreciation, for another has shown us something more about how we feel…our own inner truth. And, expressing our own inner truths is what we are meant to do. And don’t we want others to like us and appreciate us, even though we have differences? When we do our appreciate the differences, we can then explore more fully our similarities..that deep down we all want love & peace.
May you transform your judgements to appreciation!